This little angel girl has been a light to us in the last few weeks.
She is so fun and sweet and warm... and the biggest blessing in our life together.
I was going through, and pulling, some of my favorite pictures, and was completely overwhelmed with the way the Lord has blessed us.
The past couple of months have been a roller coaster of emotions for us as we found out we were expecting a new little one, only to find out that we lost the pregnancy. Again.
Anyone who has had a miscarriage can attest to the toll it takes on a person both physically and emotionally. This one seemed to be more drawn out than the one I had before Ella.
I think it is hard for people to understand who haven't experienced it. I guess you never know what a person struggles with, or how a person feels unless you have been there yourself.
Recently, I was hanging out with a dear friend who is also pregnant, and it was so hard for me to listen to her worries about gaining weight during her pregnancy when I was so devastated with my own loss.
It has taken me a bit to process the loss.
Life can be so hard and sad sometimes.
But isn't that the point of experiencing trials in this life?
To soften our hearts, to help us know how to succor others, to bring us closer to God, to humble us, to make us thankful for our blessings.
Today, I am overwhelmed with the beauty in my life.
Life is sad sometimes, but it is also so full of joy.
It is painful, but so fulfilling.
It is hard, but beautiful.
If we choose to see the beauty.
I am thankful for an imperfect body which has blessed me with my perfect, beautiful angel girl.
I am thankful for that dear friend who has been so supportive in so many ways.
I am thankful for the care and concern of loved ones.
I am thankful for my sweet little family, even if it never gets any bigger.
I have faith that the Lord will bless us with the family we are supposed to have.
I am thankful for the little girl who picks my nose while I say nighttime prayers with her.
I am thankful for her inquisitive little nature and bright smile.
I am thankful for the joy she brings to my heart every single day.
I love being a mommy to my Ella Claire.
As much as I never want anything sad to ever happen to her,
I hope that when it does she will choose to see beauty.
Leslie
Kristen, I cannot express how sorry I am to hear this. I've experienced one heart wrentching miscarriage in the middle of our journey of trying for children. I know and understand the pain all too well. You have a wonderful attitude that I'm sure the Lord has given you. Joy! Thank you for sharing with us something so difficult, and I'll pray for you!! God is a redeemer...
Blessings,
Leslie
Alabaster Rose Lifestyle
My dearest Kristen,
I am truly so sorry for your loss!! But I see that God is really working in your life for your faith to be so strong and for you to be so thankful and blessed for the beauty that surrounds your life everyday!
I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Bless your little angel Ella, she is definitely a God-Send!
Sincerely,
Melinda
Bronwyn
My thoughts are with you, hun. There are no words to express how sad this must be. However, you seemed to have a very healthy attitude about the whole thing. Know that once, I was told that I may never have children - and then I gave birth to 3 bouncing babies in 4 years! Your time will come!
Enjoy that Little Ella of yours!
Kristin @ Simply Klassic Home
Reading your words again gave me chills and brought tears to my eyes. When we are struggling it is so difficult to see the wonderful blessings in our lives, because that view becomes clouded with our grief. Our children are God's greatest gifts, no matter how they come to us, or how many we are given. I'm so proud of you for writing this post, I know how hard it is to put yourself out there. You are amazing and I love you!!! Praying for you everyday...
Ashlee Adkins
I love you Kristen. What a beautifully articulated post. Wish I could give you a hug! Xoxo
Cozy Little House
Oh honey, I'm so sorry for your loss (losses). It is often hard to understand the sad times, but when there are good times, they are that much sweeter.
Hugs, Brenda
20 North Ora
Kristen - I have tears in my eyes today after reading your post. I am so sorry!! I just know tho that your faith will get you thru this and that precious little girl with that sweet, sweet smile will brighten your days when you are down. I have you on my daily prayer list and am praying for you and your family.
If you get a chance, read my Dedication to Landen on my blog.
Blessing to you,
Judy
Debra @ Common Ground
dear Kristen, how precious you are in God's sight. it's so true, we don't usually know the hurts and pain that we each have in our lives in blogging, but thank you for sharing your sweet testimony of God's love. Blessings and lot's of love, Debra
Judy Castellano
I have been where you are, 7 miscarriages later and we were fortunate enough tobe able to adopt two special, beautiful, bright little girls from Russia. I pray you find healing in your talks with God. The way you wrote your blog today is so profound, it brought tears to my eyes. I don't know you, but what I do know you are truly blessed and so is your daughter. God will lead you down the path that is right for you. In the meantime, God bless you and your beautiful family.
Something Nice and Pretty
I'm sorry Kristen, myself I've never had a miscarridge but I loved each and everyone of my children when I first found out that I was going to have them, so I can imagine the pain and unhappiness that has went with your loss. My daughter and I would walk out from a baby shower and she'd be crying wondering why she couldn't get pregnant, the only thing I could say to her was that "It will be in His time, not ours"! She now has two beautiful girls that she loves so much. It took a while but it was in His time.
Your little girl is so beautiful and adorable, I love her smile!
Jamie
Kristen I love your blog! You are so talented and amazing and your little girl is darling! I hope you find peace right now in such a hard time. I have been there too and I know how you feel. Keep that beautiful smile on your face and I truly believe everything will work out! 🙂
leslie
I am so sorry for your loss. You do have a beautiful little girl. I have had 3 miscarriages but now have 4 healthy children! I so understand your pain.
Zusy
God loves us
Someone to love he lends us
Amber
My thoughts and prayers are with you...I am so glad you are able to find joy during immense grief. I myself have lost two children (one just before he turned 3, and my daughter last Nov, age 7) to a devastating mito disorder. Experiencing child loss is one of the hardest things a parent will ever face...I don't care how small the child is. I pray daily for my little angels and I know they are watching over yours! Its our job to snuggle the babies we have here on earth and be grateful for each day God blesses us with them. {big hugs}
You can read a little more about my story here...https://dimplesandpigtales.blogspot.com/
Anna
I'm so sorry for your loss! Your attitude is so beautiful, even though I'm sure there are times when you can't help but feel nothing by the sadness. Have some extra sweet cuddles with that sweet girl today! (my daughter's name is Lily Claire, btw)
Anonymous
Kristen,
I love you with all my heart. What a beautiful post. You are so special to me and I am so grateful to know the mom that you are to Ella.
I love you,
Shannon
Andrea
so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I had a late miscarriage after my first, and it was so hard. I did go on to have 2 more daughters, including my Ella (now 7 months). So, so many of my friends have miscarried and gone on to have many more babies. I'm sure the same will hold true for you as well.
Denise at PinkPostcard.
Kristen, I am so sorry. I do understand! After many years of trying to have babies, and finally getting pregnant, I though having a second would finally be simpler. It wasn't. So depressing when it is so easy for others, and wondering why our bodies won't do what they are supposed to! Your story is not over. I will pray for you! Much love and hugs to you.
Sheila
Oh Kristen...I am so, so sorry. I never did have a miscarriage, however, I was told I was never going to be able to have kids by several Drs. it took us 15 years to finally get pregnant and we did....and with no with drugs just the Lord and 14 months later I had my 2nd child after that. Our children belong to the Lord they are just on loan to us so we need to cherish everyday single moment bring them up in the Lord. I know he has a plan for you and it will be so beautiful when it unfolds my friend.
Smiles & Blessings,
Sheila
Lisa @ Fern Creek Cottage
I am so so sorry to hear of your loss. I have had three miscarriages and it is awful. No one seems to talk about it even though something like one in six women has one. It makes it worse when you feel so alone. I pray God brings you healing.
Your litle girl is such a cutie. Loved seeing the pictures of her.