I have some thoughts from my heart to share with you today about our homes and decorating.
Sometimes I think we are our worst critics. Especially when our circumstances, resources, time, talents, or other things seem to keep us from doing all of the things that we want to, or feel like we should, be doing with our homes. Sometimes it is so easy to be so hard on ourselves when we don't live up to all of our personal expectations, as unrealistic as they may be.
After sharing my home tour over at City Farmhouse, which I re-shared here yesterday, that annoying little voice of self doubt crept its way into my mind. I kept thinking that I wish I had more things crossed off of my to-do list. I wished more of my projects and rooms were finished. I wished that my home looked more "perfect." It was such an honor to be asked to share my home for her Style House of the month, and Jen was so sweet and kept saying how wonderful everything looked. But inside, I just felt a little inadequate compared to all of the amazing homes out there.
Am I the only one that does this to myself?
I thought and thought and thought about it. I felt so nervous. I felt so disappointed. I felt like I failed.
And then I stopped.
I made myself stop.
I stopped telling myself that I wasn't good enough. I stopped comparing myself and my home to others. I stopped being critical of all of my works in progress. Most importantly I made the CHOICE to stop.
In an age of the "gotta have it right here, right now" attitude, only perpetuated by the never-ending loveliness of Pinterest, it is sooooo incredibly important to resist that voice with everything we have. It is a choice to resist it.
Yes, my brain is always moving and I always have projects on my to-do list, but I can't, and don't, expect it to all be done by tomorrow. My family is always my top priority, and I decorate as my time and budget allows. I get comments and emails all of the time along these lines, and I just want to reach out with a big hug to say, "No one is perfect! Not one of us has a perfect home or perfect life!" We all put one foot in front of the other and do the best we can.
Here's the thing. My philosophy is that a home should feel collected instead of decorated. I don't want my home to look like a showroom. I want it to have far more character than that. And that will take me years to build.
More than anything, I think it is so easy to get caught up with the way we want our homes to look, that we forget to be thankful for what we do have.
I am thankful for my millions of works in progress. I am thankful for the talents and abilities that I have been blessed with. I am thankful that I have the best, most kind and hard working husband in the world who supports me in everything I do. I am thankful that I get to stay home with my baby, and that I get to tickle her little toes and giggle with her at the doggy. I am thankful for a warm home that shelters my little family. I am thankful for the ability I have to love and care for others.
I need to remember to replace each thought of self doubt, or dissatisfaction, with a thought of gratitude.
So, why are we so hard on ourselves anyway?
Let's stop today. Let's stop being so hard on ourselves. Let's stop comparing ourselves and our homes to others. Let's stop feeling what we have and what we do is inadequate. Not one of us lives a perfect life with perfect circumstances, and we all do the best we can. Let's give ourselves a break.
Let's make the choice to stop. And let's help each other to stop.
I have never met a more supportive or kind group of people than I have in my blogging journey. I am truly thankful for you and for the ways you help me to stop and be grateful.
xoxo
Sarah Westover McKenna
The thought of YOU being embarrassed about your home is just inconceivable to me. Every time I see it I marvel. I think it may just be my sister's dream house!! And not only do you have it so beautifully decorated, but it is even more special and amazing because you remade so many of the items yourself and put so much LOVE into it! I love reading thoughtful posts like this from my favorite bloggers, but you, my dear, have NOTHING to be worried about in this particular department! You told me yourself you've loved decorating and thrifting since you were little. It is truly a talent that God gave to you specifically!
Little Vintage Cottage
Love this post Kristen, I know exactly how you feel as it seems a LOT of other people do too! :o)
Tania
Amy Papale
Beautifully written post. You should be very proud of your home and all of the love you put into every room. I love your blog and enjoy every post. You are so gifted and I thank you for sharing your talents with all of us.
Audrey
Well said dear friend! I battle this mind set CONSTANTLY and need to stop. I try to remember that quote: " Gratitude makes what we have enough", but sometimes I just forget and get wrapped up in what I haven't accomplished or don't have. Thank you for putting it out there front and center that what we are/ have right now is enough! <3 <3<3
Audrey
Linda @ Itsy Bits And Pieces
This is such a great post...our homes grow and change as we grow and change, always evolving as we make them a place where we feel at home! I don't want to live in another family's house. And I love to see a home filled with love, laughter, and creativity...not perfectness!
Kristin @ Simply Klassic Home
You already know how amazing I think you are. I love the phrase you've coined - "Collected, not decorated." Truly beautiful!
Jean @ www.thebackyardbungalow.com
Well, I thought your home was lovely and that your'e doing a FANTASTIC job of decorating it. It does take time...lots of it. I often feel the same way, though...like my home isn't as good as someone else's for whatever reason. We all do it...but like you, I stop myself and just relax and enjoy what I have and it gives me great peace. For the record, you're far ahead of where I was at your age. I didn't have a home of my own until I was in my 40's and my kids were grown. 🙁